Once in college I took one of those what-should-i-be when I growup tests.

I got philosopher. I took that to mean “get used to being unemployed”.

I have in my hands the most perfect pair of pleather pants in the world and they’re dark red and shiny and fit my legs perfectly but I need like three sizes larger for my stupid child bearing hips and now I have to send them back :(

once i had a sex dream about hugh jackman but my brain forgot what he looks like so he was just a big black vortex staring into my soul

Complaining that Instagram doesn’t make people photographers doesn’t make you a photographer either.

I can deal with staying awake all night until sunrise. I can deal with staying awake until the birds sing. But staying awake until the buses start again? That just makes me feel dirty.

Paying my rent today was literally painful.

Anonymous asked: how old are you?

20. Official grown up :(

I may as well just rename this place “Lauren reblogs boobs and Robert Smith”.

Try to leave the house.

Get 25ft before being so knackered you have to turn back home.

Gosh someone come to my house and hang with me you can have the remote every time I randomly fall asleep for half an hour.

Has anyone had staples in their stomach? Please tell me what to do about pants my legs are COLD.

Why do I have a bread tag.

When in my life have I blogged about bread.